


Pretty Woman

by shirewalker



Category: The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: F/M, Not Canon Compliant, Piano Sex, Pretty Woman AU, alternative choices, basically me putting alina and nikolai in the piano scene from pretty woman, piano kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-09-13 04:29:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16885629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shirewalker/pseuds/shirewalker
Summary: In an alternative route where Nikolai follows Alina after the "I want to kiss you" scene by the lake to apologise, she yells at him and thoughts and feelings ensuePretty Woman soft au where these two reenact the Piano Scene ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

“Alina!”

She marched down the pier making sure to take the long way around the bonfires, as she was not in the mood to talk to anyone. Which included the idiot following her still. “If you don’t know what it means when a girl stomps away from you, Nikolai, then you shouldn’t go around telling girls you want to kiss them and then say you won’t!” She hissed over her shoulder.

“Alina, please. Can we talk?” Nikolai’s words sounded breathless, the kind of breathless that could easily make her stop, but all they did was make Alina walk faster. No amount of breathlessness would make her less angry or even inclined to stop and talk. Because if she did she might have to deal with how prickled she felt over his words. Because maybe she’d have liked that kiss, maybe she wouldn’t. Maybe it was just because of Mal’s earlier words. Maybe it was Nikolai’s charm that was winning her over. Whatever it was, she was too angry over it and the prince’s words to stop and talk.

“You want to _talk_? Maybe you should have given me something of yours to think about instead of talking!” She let out in a growl before stopping short. Did she really say that?!

Judging by Nikolai’s wide stare, she really had just said that. He blinked twice before a smug smile grew on his lips, in spite of his obvious attempt at keeping it innocent.

“Don’t!” She ordered before turning away and rushing out.

 

* * *

 

He wandered through the corridors, not in the mood to join the celebrations outside. He shouldn’t have said that. It was a stupid mistake on his part. He’d wanted to kiss her, let her know of his growing feelings, but instead he’d let her know of his fears. His insecurities. And made her mad in the process with his poor choice of words. Of course he shouldn’t have told her he wanted to kiss her when he would not do it. Even if he wanted to oh so desperately.

A couple snuck out of a nearby room, giggling under their breath as they rushed deeper into the palace, no doubt aiming for their room and its wonderful privacy.

Privacy.

Well, why not? He felt very… forlorn. And he didn’t really want to return to his chambers just yet.

 

* * *

 

Alina stared at the ceiling, its intricate night sky pattern failing to catch her attention as her mind kept replaying those moments with Nikolai. Upon returning to the Darkling’s rooms, she’d found Tamar, alone. Alina had almost asked about Mal, but she was still seething from her conversation with Nikolai and right now all she wanted was to hide in the room and just grind her teeth in anger.

_“I want to kiss you.”_ She huffed and tossed away her blankets before jumping out of bed in anger. She couldn’t sleep! All because of Nikolai and, and… and his ridiculousness!

She opened her door just a crack and saw no one outside. Perhaps Tamar had left for a bathroom break or a snack. Alina bit her lip and silently snuck away through a side door, hoping no one noticed her. It’s not that she was doing something wrong. She just didn’t want to have to explain herself. She just wanted to walk, and hopefully deal with her wandering thoughts.

The thing was… Well, she didn’t know! Mal had always been who she’d pined for. Until the Darkling walked into her life and woke up parts of her she wasn’t even aware of. But his betrayal had pained her, made her regret ever lusting for him. So she went back to the safety of her crush over Mal. And when he’d said he felt the same, it was even easier. And then came Nikolai. She heaved a sigh. Nikolai was a force of its own. Brilliant but smug, sure of every step he took yet insecure deep inside. An endless source of frustration yet someone she trusted no matter what. That was it, wasn’t it? She trusted him almost blindly and she didn’t know how to handle this. Especially when she felt… attracted to him. Who wouldn’t? He was handsome, beautiful even. Brilliant. Always knew what to say. And even though that stolen kiss hadn’t been long, she was sure he knew how to kiss her well enough she’d forget everything and everyone else. If he wanted to.

Her groan echoed in the darkened corridor. She _did_ want him to kiss her again. If anything, just to see if he could really make her change her mind.

Laughter sounded from the other end of the corridor. Alina cursed under her breath and rushed through the first door she found. Too soon to see other people. Too soon!

For a moment she saw nothing in the darkness, her eyes still too accustomed to the corridor lights. But then she heard… music. Her gaze followed the soft piano notes, the pitch black darkness fading into softer shades. On the other end of the room stood a pianoforte, its golden lacquer glinting under the shafts of moonlight that poured from a nearby window. And sitting by it, playing a string of a popular serenade, was… Nikolai.

Alina grimaced when the song hit a wrong note. And when Nikolai looked up and saw her, she found herself quickly wishing she’d stayed in her room. “Alina…”

She looked down, “I’m sorry. Didn’t want to interrupt you… I… I couldn’t sleep.”

A humourless smile flickered on his lips, “Likewise.”

When his gaze didn’t waver, Alina gestured vaguely, “Please, don’t… don’t stop. I’ll just go.”

“No. Stay.” He whispered so low she was certain she wouldn’t have caught his words if she weren’t so focused on him. On… his mouth, actually.

“All right.” She nodded.

Nikolai waited until she was closer before he restarted his playing. After a few wrong notes, he flashed a sheepish smile, “I haven’t played in so long. It seems I’ve forgotten a few things.”

“I don’t even know how to play.”

He chuckled, “Fair enough.” For a long moment nothing but piano notes filled the room as Alina drew closer and closer. She watched Nikolai crumple his face into an expression of deep concentration, his eyebrows furrowed so much a deep line grew between them. He played slowly in some moments, trying to remember something he’d forgotten, and Alina took those moments to observe him in the moonlight. Her eyes fell on his lips when he gnawed on them for a chord he was trying to capture in his mind.

What would it be like to kiss him? Would it be like those kisses she’d had in the First Army? Or like the ones the Darkling had given her? Would it be like the ones she’d shared with Mal? Perhaps something else entirely. She had so little experience, it was only natural to wonder this, right?

Suddenly silence engulfed her. And she realised Nikolai was staring at her. And that she was staring at his lips.

She could either run away from this. Or… face it.

Alina walked towards the piano until she stood next to it. She eyed the intricate golden patterns for long before speaking, “Why didn’t you kiss me?”

Nikolai took in a long breath, “I told you, Alina.”

She huffed, “Yes. But why not kiss me and give me something to think about instead?” she looked up, “Why not? How did you plan on making me think of you by saying that?”

His eyes were wide with surprise. Of course, Nikolai hadn’t expected this, had he? Finally, he looked at the silent keys and sighed, “Because… I didn’t want… I wanted things to be fair between us. I don’t want to be just a backup option for you. Nor do I want to push you into something you don’t want.”

“What if I don’t know what I want?” Her words were barely a whisper, but they rang true. She didn’t know. Besides wishing the best for Ravka and the chance to sleep peacefully in the arms of someone who loves her, Alina didn’t really know what she wanted. And yet, in that moment, when she saw Nikolai so… so bare, so open, so beautiful in the moonlight, she realised she wanted to kiss him, for no other reason than… wanting to. Slowly, she closed the keys cover and perched on the ancient wood, avoiding Nikolai’s questioning gaze at all costs. Just because she wanted to kiss him it didn’t mean she knew why or if she was truly sure of this. Perhaps he was right, perhaps it was her slighted ego that wanted some distraction. But then again, maybe it was something else. Something else entirely. “What if… What if I want you to change my mind?” She finally asked. _Change my mind, Nikolai. Make me think of you. Help me move on from Mal and the Darkling. Give me something to haunt me when you’re not around._

“Alina…” His voice dropped an octave, impossibly husky with restrained desire. She felt every nerve in her body tune to life at this. Nikolai was slowly giving in.

Finally, “Kiss me.”

He rose, so slowly it felt like time itself had slowed down in that moment. He stepped closer and placed his hand on her waist. His touch, though a soft brush, burned through the fabric of her robe and her nightclothes, certain to leave a mark on her skin. Her breath quickened when Nikolai leaned in, his minty breath tickling her skin. His lips grazed her ear, hot breath fawning over her already flushed skin. “Are you certain?” He whispered.

A breath, “Yes.”

His lips touched her cheek. Alina’s eyes fluttered closed and a sigh escaped her control. It was as though that sound was the permission he needed, because the next moment Nikolai’s lips were on hers. He cupped her cheek with one hand, his palm rough with calluses but his touch soft and tender as he massaged her lips with a slow, slow kiss. The hand on her waist moved to the small of her back to draw her closer and Alina gasped into the kiss. As soon as her lips had parted, Nikolai was teasing her with his tongue, silently asking permission to deepen the kiss. Alina buried her hands in his hair and pulled him in with a moan.

This was… This was rather incredible. The thought crept up on her as the kiss grew faster and more desperate. It was sweet and soft, but it was hungry as well. It made her sigh wistfully and arch into Nikolai’s touch. It made her think of silly romantic metaphors and dirty, dirty things as well. She hadn’t expected this, not really, but somehow she wasn’t that surprised that Nikolai’s kiss was like this.

Nikolai pressed his hips hard against hers and made a sound in the back of his throat, the sound like an aphrodisiac to Alina. But then he changed his mind and picked her up, settling her on the piano. He broke the kiss, but Alina barely had a chance to even think of demanding for more before his mouth was back on her skin, tracing the line of her jaw. All the while, a hand of his wandered to the front of her robe, quick to untie the messy knot. Her robe fell open but Alina didn’t even notice this as her mind grew fuzzier with every new press of his lips, with every new groan and moan they drew.

“Please…” She moaned. Please what? She wasn’t sure, she just knew she wanted this moment to never stop. Never.

But Nikolai seemed to have an idea of what she wanted as he laid her back against the piano, her hair fanning over the hard wood. He continued exploring her body with his hands and his mouth with the utmost care. Kiss after kiss, he drew a line down her neck, lingering over her pulse long enough to draw a loud gasp out of Alina. Satisfied, his kisses drew lower, across her collarbone and down her chest. Fabric met lips and a sound of surprise interrupted the kisses. Alina made to remove her shirt but Nikolai held her hand.

“No… Wait.” He rasped before gently pressing his hand between her breasts and slowly dragging it down her chest. It was as though there were no clothes between them. Alina felt his heat through the fabric, burning her skin as his palm grew intimate with the outline of her body. His lips followed the path he’d drawn as Nikolai pressed long kisses down her chest, each new kiss setting alight a new part of her body. As though pulled by an invisible thread Alina arched her back and Nikolai circled her waist to pull her closer.

“Oh…!” A gasped moan left her mouth when she felt Nikolai’s lips on the outline of one of her breasts.  It was a tender kiss, nothing but a chaste press of his lips over her shirt, but it was enough to draw new reactions out of her body. She could feel her nipples go hard with just this… kiss. An ache grew between her thighs, warm and begging for more, more, more. Saints send help, this ache was growing unbearable. But Nikolai didn’t plan to give in to her so soon.

Once more he traced her body with one hand, full and open, exploring each clothed curve and dip of hers. Alina swore she was seeing stars and they weren’t doing much more than press against each other and moan in the darkness. Who knew what would happen if – when – they did more.

She felt his breath through her pants as Nikolai’s lips drew lower and anticipation built deep in her belly. She’d heard enough gossip to know exactly what he could be about to do and a new realisation startled her. She wanted this.

Nikolai stopped.

“What…” She started before he pulled her into a sitting position. Her eyes were half-closed in the haze of their heated embrace, but she still saw uncertainty in Nikolai’s own hooded gaze.

He shook his head softly before leaning down to kiss her neck once, “Not like this…” He breathed against her pulse, “Not yet.”

Confusion and embarrassment over the interruption brought her back from the wonderful cloud she’d been flung to. Nikolai didn’t want to do anything else. Was it because of her being inexperienced? Had she done or said anything wrong?

_Not until you’re thinking of me instead of trying to forget him._

Those words pained her more now than they did before. Nikolai hadn’t changed his mind. He’d just gone for a sample. Alina turned to leave her spot but his hands held her steady, “No, wait. Alina…” He looked up. A gasp lodged itself in her throat when a stray sliver of moonlight hit his eyes. Their hazel looked deep brown in the silver light, almost like the dark chocolate she’d had during her first night in the Little Palace. So deliciously alluring, so full of mystery and secrets. And yet so open. He looked away for a moment and shook his head, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

She looked away as well, the sight of him was too much. “To lead me on?” Her voice was cold and detached and she took pleasure in the way he flinched.

Nikolai reached up and stroked her cheek. To her shame, Alina leaned into his touch, unable to stay mad even now. “That’s not it, Alina. I swear, I would love to…” He chuckled, “To do much more tonight but… I don’t want to rush anything, Alina. Especially with you.” He pressed his temple to hers, a hand still on the small of her back, keeping their bodies so close Alina still felt his own body heat getting intimate with hers. “I want us to savour this. Whatever it is.”

She sighed. Perhaps he was right. If they did anything tonight, it would feel rushed. She could even come to regret it later. Not that it was sure to happen, but still… She understood what he meant. Even if her body was crying out for lack of action. “Fine. At least… Walk me back to my room?” Maybe she could get a goodnight kiss. It seemed she’d grown addicted to his kisses pretty fast.

Nikolai’s eyes shined with a smile, “Of course, Alina.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo?? worth the wait? what--don't throw things at me!! no steamy times happened YET because it felt too fast. let the two slow burn this thing ;)
> 
> feedback/comments/fangirling is all I want for christmas :3


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kisses under the meteor shower (as it should have been!!)

 

 

 

So much had happened since their last moment of privacy – true privacy – that when Alina found herself alone and mere moments away from being kissed again by Nikolai, uncertainty took over.

Soft white light illuminated his face, highlighting every angle and perfect spot of skin. He was too beautiful for his own good. And he knew it. He also felt her hesitation. “You don’t want this…”

“No, I…” Her heart plummeted as Nikolai drew a little away, though his hand still cupped her cheek.

He brushed his lips against hers once, twice. A promise of a kiss. A reassurance. It was her decision, always. Alina hated herself in that moment for being so unsure of what she wanted. Part of her still ached for Mal, even if their relationship was clearly not meant to happen. Another, and darker part of her yearned for the Darkling’s touch, to be ravished by him whenever and wherever. And finally, there was yet another part of her that wanted to toss away all of it and just… get lost in Nikolai. In his insufferable self, in his jokes and crazy plans. In his touch. Saints, his touch…

“I want this, I just…” She breathed, a hand keeping him close. “Do you… still want this?” Silly question. He had proposed. Or at least… sounded like it. Of course he wanted to kiss her. If only for the two to grow accustomed to their future together.

Nikolai’s lips quirked up, “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

“You could easily just be putting on a show, you know?”

“Fair point.” He paused, “Are you reassured of my intentions yet?”

She rolled her eyes before nodding. A meteor flew closer by, its light bright enough to light up Nikolai’s shy smile right before his lips met hers once more.

It was as though they were still lingering on the threshold to her room. His lips on hers, his hands holding her tenderly close. Her heart beating fast with this new and unexpected turn of events. Her mind fuzzy to the point of just making surprised and delighted sounds. Alina’s hands climbed up his shoulders and into his hair, pulling Nikolai as close as possible.

A delighted grunt met her movements before Nikolai turned her around to press her back against the wall. He tipped her head higher, his lips gliding fast against hers, prying her mouth open as the kiss was deepened without wasting a second. Alina moaned into the kiss, body flush against Nikolai’s as they kissed and kissed and kissed. Eyes closed, mind ignoring everything else, the meteor shower could have ended hours ago and neither would have noticed a thing.

She was, however, beginning to feel rather lightheaded. Her lungs, once happy to breathe in Nikolai’s air, now begged for the fresh mountain air. Her legs, usually so stable, now shook under the weight of their kiss. Nikolai held her up just as he broke the kiss into smaller ones, each one smaller and softer than the previous until all he did was brush his nose against hers. Alina found she quite enjoyed that.

A silly, drunken grin was plastered on both their faces.

“That was nice.” She breathed, still holding onto him. Her legs weren’t ready to be on their own just yet.

Nikolai’s grin grew a tad insufferable and Alina almost rolled her eyes then, “Indeed it was.”

“I’m sorry.” She said, a little of her giddiness sizzling away.

“For what?”

“For being… unsure.”

He shook his head before leaning away and tugging her closer to the balcony’s edge. The meteor shower carried on, unbothered by their impromptu make out. “I understand, Alina. A lot happened. We barely had time to…” A corner of his lips lifted on a half-smile, “Deal with what happened that night.” He looked at her, “But I’m glad you didn’t kick me.”

She rolled her eyes and leaned against his shoulder, their hands laced tightly together, “Are you… Are you sure?”

Nikolai knew what she meant, “Of course I am, Alina. As sure as I am about anything that comes to you, really.”

“Such blind devotion.” She kept her eyes on the illuminated night sky, “Are you sure you’re not a disciple or something?”

He scoffed, “You mock my believing in you?” He turned a little and tilted her head up, “Mock all you want, Alina, but I mean it.” His eyes gained a mischievous glint and she instantly regretted teasing him, “Plus, I prefer another kind of worshipping.”

Her cheeks heated up, “Oh? What kind, pray tell?”

His eyes darted around, comically suspicious of the air itself, “I’d rather do that behind closed doors, sunshine. Privacy, you understand?”

Her heart fluttered at the nickname. That was… unexpected. Unexpected… but nice. But then she realised what he’d meant with his words and her blush turned into a deep shade of red. She scoffed, hoping the night could hide her blush, “You really have a dirty mind, Nikolai.”

“Oh, you’d be surprised.” She could hear his smirk in his words. He’d seen her blush and was happily exploiting this. Maybe it wasn’t too late to kick him again.

“Just shut it and watch the meteor shower, you idiot.”

His chuckle shook her body, “As you wish, Alina.”

 

* * *

 

Later, in a darkened corner just before her chamber, Alina pulled Nikolai in for another kiss, her heart growing bolder with every moment she spent in his company. Their entwined hands during the whole meteor shower and the walk back to her room hadn’t helped either.

Nikolai’s hands were lost in her hair, his touch urgent as Alina kept him close enough to feel every part of his body. Hard muscle and soft fabric met her touch, which quickly had her mind running to all kinds of scenarios even when all she wanted to think about was Nikolai’s lips on hers. Hot, feverish, delicious to grow so intimate with. Each press and pull had Alina’s knees growing weaker and weaker. The meteor shower was over, but she could still see stars behind her closed eyes. So many stars. And she didn’t want to stop seeing them. She wanted to see even more.

“Nikolai…!” She gasped when he bent down to trace the length of her neck, fingers caressing the skin around the collar. What could have been an obstacle to their kissing, it seemed to just be an extra challenge for Nikolai. It never hindered him, at all.

He stopped briefly, “Yes?”

“How about…” She moaned when he kissed a sweet spot right under her jaw, “You show me your favourite kind of… oh… of worshiping?” She finally let out, even as Nikolai continued exploiting that newly-found sweet spot of hers.

His chuckle was enough to have her body trembling with anticipation, a familiar warmth pooling between her thighs, “Really?”

“Yes!”

Nikolai’s next words never came out, as the sounds of footsteps quickly interrupted their little encounter. He ushered her to her door, his hand lingering on the small of her back, “I’m afraid tonight there’s too many eyes and ears ready to gossip, Alina.” When she set her jaw in annoyance and refused to kiss him goodnight, Nikolai pouted profusely and poked her nose, earning a swat from her. “When we leave tomorrow, I swear I’ll make time for us. Time for more of this,” He touched her lips, “Time to get more acquainted. And perhaps, time for… _more_.” That word came out huskier than the others and just like that, Alina felt her anger sizzle to ashes and her heart skip a beat. She hadn’t been looking forward to being separated from her friends and… Mal. But now… Perhaps some things were for the best. And spending time with _just_ Nikolai was rather… Interesting.

She turned her gaze to his, “Fine. You better make that time if you want a definite answer to that botched proposal of yours.”

Shock and offense washed over his face, “Botched? My…! Alina, sunshine, I only tried to make it as easy on you as possible. But…” He pulled a lock of her hair, “If you want something more romantic… Well, that can be arranged.”

And then, before she could say anything else, Nikolai was kissing her again. A chaste kiss that lingered for long enough to have her heart skipping several beats, but chaste nevertheless.

When he pulled away, Alina was dizzier than before. His smirk was so insufferable she pondered that kick yet again, “Goodnight, Alina. Try to not dream too much of me.” And then he left, just in time to avoid that kick she’d been brewing.

Alina watched as Nikolai walked away, listening for his off-tune whistle until shadows engulfed his frame and she could no longer see him at all. Her heart was still racing from their kisses and his closeness, her mind still running wild with all the scenarios it had come up with after the first touch of his lips. Oh, what was she doing? She loved Mal! But… Hadn’t he refused her? Hadn’t he turned her down even when she tried to explain things? Only to treat her with a distant coldness that hurt her far more than his violent outbursts? She leaned against her door. He was her best friend and she still cared for him, but… Her eyes trailed after the long-gone prince. There was someone else fighting for her attention now, and… as much as she hated to admit it, he was winning.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A tamer chapter, sorry! But the wait will be worth it!
> 
> feedback/comments/fangirling is All I Want For Christmas.mp3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mini-chapter to set up the stage for the final one

 

 

 

“You could stay.” He looked up, “You could stay with me.”

Alina felt all air in her lungs being snatched away by those words. As she stared at Nikolai from her spot, all of her reasons against staying suddenly felt… Weak. The way he’d uttered those words… The way he looked at her. She shook her head, “Nikolai… I’m nobody.”

That seemed to break something inside him. Before she could utter any other word, Nikolai was kneeling in front of her, hands cupping her face, eyes staring deep into her soul, “You are not nobody. You are… You are Alina Starkov. You are… You’re everything. You are wonderful. You are sunshine in any shape and way. You’re you.” His words were urgent, as though he was afraid he couldn’t quite put into words what he wanted to say. He pressed his forehead against hers, “Alina… Don’t ever say that about yourself ever again. If you really wish to leave, I’ll let you go. I won’t stand in your way. You’re your own ruler. But please, promise you will never say that about yourself. Ever again.”

She needed a moment to gather her thoughts. To find air. To relearn how to speak. “Nikolai…” She breathed, “I… I promise.”

He flashed a grin that quickly faded, “I can’t help but feel as though you said it just to shut me up.”

She rolled her eyes, “Fine. I promise to try. Happy?”

“Yes. Though I’d be happier with an answer as well.”

She sighed, of course he’d ask. “Nikolai, I’m… I’m a liability. You don’t need that. You need a secure marriage.”

“A liability?” He sounded incredulous, “What am I then? Alina,” He pushed away a few locks of her hair, the gesture sending her heart into a skittery dance, “We’re both the complete opposite of what Ravkan nobility wants on the throne, but we are… we can be what the Ravkan people _need_.” A tiny, nervous smile tugged on his lips, “Together.”

_Together_. Her and Nikolai. Ruling Ravka. Saints, that was… A scenario she had scarcely thought of, with all the running and fighting. But now? It still felt too large for her, but… With him, maybe she could do it. “But I don’t know a thing about being a queen.”

“Neither do I. But I’m sure we’ll work it out.” He cleared his throat, “If you say yes.”

She rolled her eyes, “Fine, I’ll stay. I’ll marry you, Nikolai.”

Nikolai beamed, his smile so bright it was blinding. He leaned in for a kiss, Alina already halfway to meet his lips, when a loud knock interrupted them.

“It’s nearly time.” Tolya.

Embarrassment took over Alina’s body, her whole face turning red in an instant. Nikolai chuckled and dropped his head against her shoulder, “I suppose we should go to your funeral, Alina. And then we’ll seal the deal. Yes?”

She nodded. “Let’s bury me.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Christmas!!  
> I'll try to put the last chapter asap ^^
> 
> feedback/comments/fangirling is All I Want For Christmas.mp3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Ending, at last ;D

 

 

It had been weeks since she’d said yes. And no matter how hard they tried, privacy and moments alone seemed far too rare to even glimpse, let alone enjoy together. The kingdom was in disarray from the war, its pockets running thin due to years of awful management from previous rulers. The court was like a headless chicken running around the courtyard, completely lost with so many changes in such short time. But at least the Grisha were receiving some well-deserved praises from all over the country, more and more new students coming to Os Alta from all corners of the land.

All of this left the two with very little time to even do the minimum courting.

 

* * *

 

She walked through the sleeping palace, once more woken up by a nightmare she couldn’t remember. Walking blindly through the empty corridors and halls, Alina couldn’t help but go back to the other time she’d done this. The other time she’d walked through the palace alone at night. Would she find Nikolai there again? She turned towards the music room. There was only one way to find out.

Music drifted through the crack she opened just before entering the darkened room. And just like out of her dreams, Nikolai sat by the piano.

He played the same tune he’d played that night, but tonight he looked far more dishevelled than before. Had he been plagued away from sleep as well?

“I was just wondering if you’d walk in like last time.” He whispered, his voice barely audible over the music. Alina rolled her eyes and smiled. Of course he’d heard her coming in. Most likely, he had been hoping she would show up. Just as she had hoped him to be here.

“I was wondering if you’d be here playing like last time.” She replied and leaned on the piano, watching Nikolai’s hands as he played through the tune. Less rusty this time, it smoothed over her, the melody slow and warm, beckoning her closer.

He stopped playing and looked up, “Hey.”

A shy smile grew on her lips, “Hey.”

Nikolai reached for her hand and pulled her closer before kissing her knuckles once, “I couldn’t sleep.”

She leaned on the piano, only to jump back up when it complained with a deafening chord. The two chuckled a little before she closed the lid to sit on it. “I couldn’t sleep either.”

His hand drifted to her waist, thumb brushing back and forth over the thick wintry fabric of her robe. A tingly feeling spread through the entirety of her body and Alina closed her eyes, savouring his touch, savouring this moment. Nikolai took a breath and leaned in to kiss her stomach and nuzzle his nose against her. “I’ve been meaning to kiss you for days now.” His voice was muffled by her robe, but the words were clear as day. She felt the exact same way.

“We’re all alone now.” She whispered, afraid of speaking any louder in case she would just moan or something. Wouldn’t that be embarrassing? To moan before anything happened?

Nikolai looked up and his eyes caught hers. They shined bright in the darkened room, bright with desire and tenderness and so much more. It was a look that promised far more than just one kiss. Far more. And Alina wanted all of it.

Keeping his gaze on hers, Nikolai undid the knot of her robe and pushed it off of her. Then he put his hands under her shirt, palms hot on her as he slowly traced her outline up and up and up. Alina gasped when her shirt was gone, the cool air of night nipping at her skin and making her nipples pinch in an instant.

“You are…” Nikolai rasped as he rose to his feet, “So beautiful, Alina…” He kissed her cheek, “So magnificent…” He kissed her other cheek, “So maddeningly incredible…” He kissed her mouth, prying it open in an instant, tongue meeting tongue between moans as the two finally kissed.

Alina pulled him closer, her exposed torso meeting his clothed self before she buried her hands between them and quickly undressed him. With a groan, Nikolai picked her up and laid her on the piano, breaking the kiss just to trace her jaw, and her neck. Just to trail down her chest until he found her breasts and captured a nipple between his lips, pulling at it softly until Alina was moaning and writhing under his weight. “Yes…” She let out, a smile on her lips as Nikolai teased her breasts endlessly. Oh, she really liked it when he did this. So much.

Nikolai rolled his hips against hers and a familiar warmth spread between her thighs. He was hard enough to make Alina wish he was fully unclothed already. “Alina…” He kissed her with reverence, pressing slow and hot kisses onto her skin, each one dotted with words of beauty and wonder and promises of the world to her. It was as though he was worshiping her. As though she were the most precious thing he had ever had the chance to witness and he still couldn’t believe his luck. Nikolai continued whispering beautiful things to her as he wound her up and up, slowly freeing her of the rest of her clothes, slowly showering her with all that he had to give.

Alina arched her back as her panties fell away and he kissed her centre, “Nikolai… please…” She reached for him, hand knotting deep in his hair, the thick locks soft between her fingers.

The first swirl of his tongue drew a surprised gasp out of her. It was quick, fleeting. Yet it was enough to have her every nerve buzzing to life. He touched her again, this time slowly, licking her at length until she was shaking with pleasure. It was maddening, this teasing of his, yet it was deliriously fantastic, enough to have her seeing stars with her eyes closed. Nikolai continued teasing her, playing with his tongue until Alina was tipping on the edge, ready to fall, to fall, to fall…

“Nikolai!” She cried out his name at the very last moment. He’d flicked his tongue once more, pushing her just enough to come undone. Every bit of her body was sizzling to dust, a new kind of pleasure surely rewriting every atom in her body.

When her breathing was closer to normal, Alina opened her eyes. Nikolai looked down at her, his eyes open and bare. “Alina… I… I love you so much.” He rasped, brushing away a few stray locks of her hair.

She blinked fast. Something seemed to be growing in her chest, making it heavy and warm and full of… of…. “I… I love you too.” She said, that something gaining shape as she uttered those words. Love. She loved him. She really did. It was new and surprising, but true.

The smile that grew on Nikolai’s lips was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, “That’s music to my ears, if I may say so.”

She rolled her eyes, “You may. But you may also continue what you were doing, yes?”

Nikolai chuckled, “Of course, my love. Of course.” And then he picked her back up and sat down on his seat, holding her just out of reach.

Alina bristled, feeling so close yet so far, “You’re just teasing me right now, aren’t you?”

He flashed a smile so innocent it was just plain wicked, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Alina.” He looked down and gasped, “Oh! I see.”

She rolled her eyes and reached down, grabbing him fully before guiding him to her centre, “You see? Oh, you see? You better see it fast.” She bit out just before carefully sliding down, slowly taking him bit by bit, grateful that in his playfulness Nikolai still held her up, helping her descent. A satisfied sigh left her lips when he was fully inside of her, hard and fitting her so perfectly. Saints, this felt… so good.

Nikolai kissed her nose, “You feel so good, Alina.” He sounded drunk. Drunk in this, drunk in her, drunk in whatever would come right after. And she felt just as drunk.

She pressed her temple to his, “I have to agree. You feel… really, really good.” She moaned then, unable to contain the sound when the barest of movements lit her up from inside.

He kissed whatever bit of skin he could find, “I want you to feel good, Alina. We can take it as slowly as you want. You decide, my love.” He whispered in her ear, rubbing his hands up and down her back.

Alina had never done this, not really, but she knew she wanted to do it with Nikolai right now. She wanted to move with him, to make love with him until the sun rose in the sky. So, she moved. Slowly, Alina lifted her body bit by bit, moaning with the movement. Nikolai whispered her name and she stopped, taking a breath before coming down right back, slowly taking him back in. “Oh…” She moaned, it felt so, so good. She repeated it a few more times, her slow rhythm beginning to drive her mad as something began to coil up deep in her stomach. “Faster… Harder…”

Nikolai rocked his hips once, his thrust meeting her halfway and drawing a louder moan out of her. She smiled at him, satisfied with this. And then she began to move faster, picking up her pace as Nikolai followed her, holding her close, touching and kissing her as much as he could, as much as she needed.

“Alina…!” Nikolai groaned against her lips, the two lost in their movements and their kiss. Alina rolled her hips faster, growing more confident with each thrust and each moan. This felt like heaven, yet she knew she was _sinning_. And it felt so good.

She moved with Nikolai, moaning his name and begging for more and more and more. She wanted to scream his name, she wanted to lose sight of north and south, she wanted to come undone so badly days could pass by unnoticed. More importantly, she wanted to come undone right here, right now, with Nikolai just as undone. “I love you…” She dropped her head to his shoulder, her grip on him steely as she felt the edge drawing closer and closer and closer.

“Alina, Alina, Alina…” Nikolai’s pace was fast and hard, just as she had asked for this last stretch. He hit all the right spots as Alina came down on him faster, dying to die in his arms at last.

She cried out his name, so loud she was certain anyone in the palace could hear her. She was coming undone, her very being unravelling as her orgasm shook her, her body tightening around Nikolai’s for a brief moment. A brief moment that seemed to last a century, so deliciously perfect, until Nikolai’s own release came and they fell over the edge together. Together, together, together.

She was spent. So completely spent, her limbs were boneless, her lungs not enough to gather any air. But she felt… wonderful. So wonderful. Alina looked back a little, peering through hooded eyes. Nikolai looked at her through equally hooded eyes, a stupid grin on his lips, “You are… Saints, you are amazing, Alina. So… So amazing.” He kissed her once, taking away the very last bit of air she still had, “I love you so much, it’s almost ridiculous.”

“I think I like ridiculous after all.” She whispered as she laid her head on his shoulder.

“Wonderful.” He said. After a moment, her skin started to chill and a shiver shook her slightly. Nikolai pulled her away, “We should go to bed. Where it’s warmer, no?”

Sleep began to slow her down and she nodded once, “I’d like that. Yours.” It wasn’t a question and Nikolai understood it well enough.

“Very well. Let me just gather our clothes so we don’t freeze on our way there, yes?”

“Yes.”

 

* * *

 

Tucked safely in his embrace, Alina took in a lungful of Nikolai, savouring how sweet he smelled in that moment. She nuzzled against his chest, making sure to kiss the scars that met her touch, and sighed happily, still holding sleep at bay.

Nikolai kissed her crown, “Goodnight, Alina.”

She almost said it back, but then, “I want to kiss your hands, Nikolai. I want to kiss them…”

He froze for a moment, no doubt surprised with her words. Or maybe… Maybe she’d said the wrong thing. She was about to take it back when he drew away a little, and offered one hand. “Please be gentle.” She could sense his hesitation in his words, a shyness that hadn’t been there before the Darkling’s attack. In the haze of making love at last, they had been too distracted with each other to remember any insecurities or fears. But now that things had quieted down, now that the warm light from the fireplace illuminated them just barely, some things came back to mind. She wondered if Nikolai had been self-conscious about his scars all along, if he’d just forced himself to ignore them while they kissed and touched each other. Or had he completely forgotten them in that moment? Like she had forgotten so many things, her mind focusing just on Nikolai and Nikolai alone.

She took his hand within hers and placed soft kisses upon his knuckles, the crisscrossed texture of his scars making her angry on his behalf. Nikolai took in a sharp breath when she continued, her lips tenderly exploring his hand. Finger by finger, up the back of his hand and over his palm and even a little around his wrist. Smooth white lines cracked his otherwise perfect skin where once black lines had been. She wished her kisses could erase all of this. She wondered if Nikolai wished his kisses could erase her own scars…

“Alina…” A tiny moan left his control as she kissed his other hand. Nikolai was giving in, letting those walls of his crumble down between her kisses, even if they would surely return in the morning. In that moment, as Alina continued exploring his hands with her mouth, she wanted to make them go away completely, even if just for the night.

After what felt like a lifetime, Alina laced her fingers with his and snuggled closer. “I wish…” She wanted to say something, anything that could help with his burden, but words failed her then, all of her options sounding… weak and hollow.

Nikolai pulled her close and kissed her forehead, “I know. I feel the same.” She peered into his eyes, wondering just exactly how they had gotten here, to this place where somehow they understood each other better than themselves.

Feeling the need to ease the mood, Alina poked him on his chest, “I hope you don’t get too cocky in the morning just because you were so good tonight.”

Nikolai raised an eyebrow, “Cocky, huh?”

She rolled her eyes and poked him harder, “You can be such an ass sometimes.”

“Ass? Hopefully one you like to touch plenty.”

“God, Nikolai. Are you going to turn everything into an innuendo?” She tried to sound irritated, but laughter was spilling through, making her efforts look just ridiculous.

He turned serious in a flash, his eyes darkening as he rolled her on her back, “Not everything. I intent to be very straightforward at times. Like now.” He kissed under her jaw. Alina looked heavenwards, trying to hold back the moan that was dying to come. “I want to make love to you again, Alina. I want…” He kissed the other side of her jaw and this time a little whimper escaped her hold. “I don’t want to leave this room at all. I want…” He kissed her pulse. When she remained silent, he teased her skin with a scrape of his teeth and didn’t stop until Alina finally gave up and moaned. “I want to stay here with you forever.”

She sighed, her body ready for their next round, “I want to stay here with you forever as well, Nikolai.” Her hands found their way to his hair, fingers digging into his luxurious locks. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Alina. I love you too…” He kissed her mouth for long, slowly massaging her lips until she could do nothing but moan, until words were a mere distraction when compared to this. “Please, Alina.” He rasped between kisses, “I’m not that sleepy.”

She rolled her eyes, “Neither am I.” She rolled her hips a little, earning a lovely moan from Nikolai, “Make me sleepy, Nikolai.”

He fought a groan when she moved again and nodded, “As you wish, my love.” And then he was kissing her again, a hand slowly tracing the lines of her body, going down, down, down. Alina had no idea what time it was, but she was sure the night wasn’t over yet and it wouldn’t be over until they collapsed on his bed, breathless and exhausted, ready to sleep in each other’s arms until they were fully rested.

She couldn’t wait for all of it.

She couldn’t wait to do this every day of their lives together.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so?? was the build-up up to expectations?? *eyes emoji*  
> happy new year crickets!! maybe something Big will drop in your inboxes now this mini-fic is over *wink wink*
> 
> feedback/comments/fangirling is pretty awesome, did you know that?


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